A World That Enjoys Hurting Itself

Wherever I look nowadays, I find people emoing. Even my closest Christian friends have been drowning themselves in sorrows and anxiety. I admit, even I myself do that sometimes.

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I'm convinced that we are living in a world that enjoys hurting itself. Smoking, drugs, self-mutilation, fornication, these are all the ways people enjoy hurting themselves. to the extent that they boast to each other of their own suffering. I’ve heard people saying "I have been through much more pain than you" or "you don't understand the pain I'm going through". A generation that enjoys wallowing in despair.

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Sometimes I also tell others “woah my class is so stressful...” or “woah I have to wake up so early every morning...” then I would wonder: Why am I saying this? Is it just to relieve stress? Or am I actually boasting about it. Don’t other people go through nearly the same thing?

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Why do we not tell others about it and put on a facade when we are in pain? I will now reveal the ugly side, it's because we enjoy it. We enjoy it when we suffer, I will list several reasons I sometimes do this and I’m sure I’m not alone. It makes us feel special, it makes us feel important so that others should pay attention to us. If that's not the reason then it's because then we feel superior to others because we feel we have more burdens than them. And if that's still not the reason then it's because we have someone to blame. We make ourselves "MARTYRS" and then say that society is putting it on us.

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All lies. So what if I can suffer more? I am just boasting that I am silly enough to put on myself more than I can carry.

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This is wrong. It is so wrong. How could God's people, the people He Himself handpicked to carry the Joy of Heaven into earth, be drowned in sorrow and anxiety?

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It doesn't make sense.

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Why are the people who carry the Joy of Heaven so easily put down by the things of Earth? Why if we have received the gift of eternal life are we still afraid of the people and circumstances around us?

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It is RIDICULOUS.

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Sometimes I fear that if I do not live up to the expectations of the people around me, I would be a bad vessel of the Gospel? Is that it? So instead of showing them I am not strong enough to break my limits I show them that I am a push over subjected to judgement? Am I not already free from the ultimate judgement? Then why fear the judgement of man? I must remember that God is sovereign and will still draw people towards Himself even though I am weak.

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If you ever find yourselves in my shoes, brothers in Christ, do not allow yourself to be drowned in sorrows. For the sake of yourself and for the people you want to reach out to, DONT. I do not think it is very attractive if all we have to offer is a bunch of weeping martyrs who keep a mask of happiness? Let your love and joy be evident to all. Be Joyful always. Even when we are sad we still can be joyful because we have a hope of a better tomorrow. The hope that Jesus gives us

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And to those who are not Christian, please. There is SO MUCH MORE to life than sorrow. look past your sorrows and find that other things can give you fulfilment besides suffering.

Voice

The child tugged at the ropes and asked

"How do I know it is you Lord?"

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand."

The Kingdom of Wumbada

Once upon a time there was the kingdom of Wumbada. The Wumbadites were very happy people. One day, there was news spreading around the city about the obscenely huge killer ponies approaching the kingdom. the Wumbadites were terrified. They had heard stories of how the killer ponies can wipe away entire cities with a swish of their blonde ribbon braided tail. And how with it's twinkly eye it could turn peoples into lollipops, eat them and fart them out as gamma radiating rainbows. And now it was on it's way to Wumbada! how terrible!!

There was one hope however. Legend has it that there was a certain elusive, magical, radiant golden banana that once eaten would make the eater invulnerable to all the attacks of the obscenely huge killer ponies. This magical Golden Banana was worth faaaaar more than any diamond or gem.There was one problem however, nobody has ever found the golden banana and nobody knows how or where to find it.

There was one Wumbadite boy though who was determined to find some golden bananas to save himself and his family. So off he went with the permission of his parents to search far and wide for the golden banana. He went around from wise man to wise man, from library to library, searching for clues as to how he could save himself from the killer ponies. Some of the wise men were really strange.

Some of them said that you had to Plant as many banana trees as you can and eat 5000 bronze bananas and 5000 silver bananas from those trees without eating a SINGLE rotten banana then you would stand a chance to find a Golden Banana. Bronze and Silver bananas were not too hard to find if you're looking for one or two, but that much was quite impossible to find or eat for that matter. Their worth pales in comparison with that of a Golden banana though

Some of them said that everyone was once a monkey and had eaten lots and lots of rotten bananas so they couldnt find the Golden Banana. Apparently, one man had been able to get rid of all his past rotten bananas by planting and eating even more bronze and silver bananas.

Some also said that there was no need to find a Golden Banana because everyone is a Golden Banana and the Golden Banana is within everyone. You must look within yourself and find your inner banana, then you must do the banana dance a million times to transcend itno bananaland and then groom the eternal Banana tree and it will give you a Golden Banana.

Some even said that you had to attain a state of bananahood where you become one with the Great Banana Tree and you your self turn Into a banana. You must concentrate real hard till you think of nothing else but bananas to get bananahooded then the ponies won't harm you.

Still some said there are no Golden bananas and no killer ponies and that everyone's father was a butt-scratching monkey.

The boy noticed something queer about all the wisemen. They were all very wise but they all kept talking about people who had found the Golden banana and ways to find it but none of them have seemed to actually find it for themselves. So he decided to continue with his search.

One day the boy was stopped by a man.

"Hullo I heard you are looking for Golden Bananas?" asked the man

"Yes I am. Do you know anything about them?" asked the boy drearily, expecting to hear another long winded story of people who had found the Golden banana and ways to get it.

"I know where to get the Golden Bananas, would you like to know?" The boy's eyes
brightenened.

"Yes! What must I do to get one? Should I plant a banana tree?"

"You do not have to do anything, I have planted all the Golden banana trees. All you have to do is eat it. Come, follow me" The man answered

Confused but curious, the boy followed. When he did, he found himself in a HUUUUUGE Banana plantation, but the bananas here were strange. They were more beautiful and looked more luscious than any other fruit he had ever seen. Whole bunches of bananas shone Golden colour under the sun. The boy couldnt believe it, he knew without a doubt that these were the elusive Golden bananas. All this time he had been searching so hard for the Golden bananas and now trees of them were right in front of him. The boy wondered if the man would give him some of the bananas.

"These are the golden bananas" the man said "Please, give me some of the Golden bananas" the boy begged

"There is only one condition if you want a Golden Banana"

"What is it?"

"You have to give me all your silver and bronze bananas, even the rotten ones."

The boy was shocked, although the Golden banana was worth so much more than the silver and bronze bananas, he still liked the bananas he had. But the boy grit his teeth. For the sake of his mission, he traded all his inferior bananas for the Golden one.

"The magic of the banana is that it is only possible to eat it once and then you will be forever immune to the killer ponies but take as many as you can" said the man "and give them to as many people as would receive them. Tell them to come here and pay me the same price you have paid. Another magic in the banana is that you will not be able to eat it until you surrender all your other bananas. Be fast, the obscenely huge killer ponies are coming soon!"

The boy then peeled one banana and ate it. Instantly, he felt a change in him and he knew whatever killer ponies would not be able to harm him anymore. he thanked the man, took a whole bunch of bananas and ran back to all the wise men to give some to them. To his astonishment however, the wise men mocked him and laughed at him. They said his Golden bananas were fake. All these years they've been working and have not attained the Golden banana, how could the boy in such a short time get it? This was the same case for many of the other people in the kingdom. But many of people the people also believed and took a Golden banana and ate it.

Of course, soon the obscenely huge killer ponies arrived and destroyed the town and all those who didnt eat the golden banana were turned into lollipops and farted out into rainbows. Only the boy and those who ate the Golden bananas survived.

And so, they witnessed the destruction of the city. Everyone was tremendously sad that many people had not believed their story and ate the Golden banana. The ponies were still prancing about the devastated city looking for more lollipops to eat. Suddenly, the man who owned the banana plantation appeared and said to all of them.

"These obscenely huge killer ponies have been rampaging for too long. We must rid this world of them." Then he took a banana launcher and Blasted all the ponies to smitherines with Golden Bananas. He told all those who had eaten the Golden Banana.

"You all are wise to have eaten the Golden banana. Now you can all live in a new world free of the fear of the obscenely huge killer ponies."

And so it was, everyone rejoced that the dreaded ponies are finally gone and they lived happilly ever after.

The End

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SCREEAAM!!!

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Under the Dentist's drill (I)

Arrgh.... so...much...blood....

Sheesh, did the dentist install a raspberry syrup factory in my mouth or something?
Just had 2 of my teeth extracted. I'm gonna be gettng braces and had to have 4 of my teeth removed...

Whoever said modern tooth extraction is completely painless, well, he lied. haha

when I first entered the room I was realistically expecting a not pain free but sophisticated and civilised extraction, none of that yanking out your tooth procedures that is often portrayed.

At first he took out a reeeeeeeally scary needle of anaesthetics that hurt like ten degrees of hell. no problem, I'll just clench the arm rest hard and hope it doesn't break.

I thought that the extraction would be the dentist loosening my teeth gently with some high-tech tool or drug and when it was loose enough, simply pluck it out, But when he took out the PLYERS, that's it I wanted refund. but I didnt, anyways, he started twisting and turning my teeth till I heard several crack sounds and dislodged the tooth. Ouch... and that's not the end yet, I still have another tooth to extract and even then it's not over. I have to return tomorrow for a second round of extraction. God help me

So here I am with two gaping holes in my mouth biting a piece of tissue expecting the next round of extractions. oh well....

SF guys outing

haha, the SF guys had an outing last wednesday and it was AWESOME!!! haha
we went for dinner at Pepper Lunch and then went to watch Witch Mountain in Shaw house. The movie was OkAy~ but I'm sure everyone enjoyed the fellowship:D

Before that, I went with Mig Hui to the Japanese supermarket and helped ourselves to the free buffet~ sweet~! Call me cheap, the food was still goodXD

After the movie Ming Hui, Micah, Bryan and I stayed behind and chilled out at Starbucks. I have no idea how we came to talk about gay bars and ass slapping ut that's beside the point=___+. Anyways, it was fun hanging out at Starbucks, it was quite late so we were pretty much the only customers left.

After that we finally decided to go home but guess what?? Bryan and Micah decided to stay over at my place. Oh well, and so it was. I think we stayed up till around 3am... maaaan was tired. haha was a great outing.

Meet the turtles

Pop arts

woah, it's been how long since I last posted poparts? okay here are a new batch:First off, meet Torvin! he's my new tea-sipping turtle mascot This is a special pop-art. There are supposed to be 2 characters in the middle which I had to censor out for now, not because it's graphic but because the real picture is going to be a gift to a good friend of mine when this picture is fulfilled.haha it was real fun making this pop art, I had some trouble finding a suitable verse tho

this picture reflects the state of my heart sometimes

The name of this is "sheep without a shepherd" any questions?

50th post!!! my Birthday!!!

Yays!!! my birthday celecbration was great!!! yays it's my 50th post!!

Can't believe I'm 16 now....

Although the party was kinda bumpy at the beginning, everything wen't great afterwards. haha this is my most memorable birthday so far. Thx to certain friends who

1 pushed my face into the cake

2 dunked me into the pool

3 poured flour over me afterwards, choking me in the process=___=

Thx ALOT guys. haha but thx for making my birthday truly wonderful. You guys are the best:D

I learnt alot from this party. One of them is NEVER PUT YOUR FACE ANYWHERE NEAR THE CAKE. haha kiddin. I actually messed up the planning. The worship session was supposed to be at the beginning but unfortunately, the food was getting cold so I had to push it to the last event.

I learnt how to plan better. Learn from my mistake:)

Of course I got some great gifts from the guys. haha as expected they gave me turtles, turtles and more turtles.

yay! new additions to my turtle family:D

haha I got other presents too of course but I won't show them here. This was an awesome bday party thx for making it awesome guys and thank you God for granting me this sixteenth year of my life and for blessing me with so many wonderful friends and everything:D

finally, a resolution:D

Yesh my mind is cleared again. Grace and Peter had a chat with me today and I now realize my mistake. As for that dreaded post, I've deleted it. the guy who tagged me about telling it to my pastor face to face was correct.

I apologize to everyone offended by that blog including my pastors of course and I hope you guys understand that I am human and I do make mistakes. I also hope for your understanding that I only did so because I wanted the church to grow but I know the the way I did it was wrong.

anyways out of all these I learnt alot of lessons the main one of course is to think carefully before I speak. Another is that God answers prayers and yet another is that I should tell a person directly to them when I have something againts them.

But I've been wondering, ironic isn't it? When I blog nice harhar posts, hardly anyone ever tags. But the moment I type something that is the least bit offensive, the tags start pouring in like a flood trying to maul me and even then, they are not willing to state their names. thx guys, you guys are the best. Okay before I start another flood of tags I better change topic

In any case today, church was fun. After saying so many bad things I'm gonna sing praises then. Pastor Veron's preaching has definitely improved which I am grateful for, yay pastor Veron! keep it up:D and worship was also very nice today. Oh yeah and in my oppinion, discussion has grown substantially since the new splinter group system was introduced. I do hope this goes on:D

Okay that should be about all I gotta blog about, God bless:D

Hrmm...

Wow, long week, finally got to use the com again. Okay I'll admit it I allowed my old-self to resurface and rear its ugly head. I had allowed my tongue to lash out cruelly. I'm appologizing to any reader who had been offended by my previous post, and restrain myself more.

I have committed it to God that I would change. I do not deny that my choice of words were poor and insensitive, that is my fault. HOWEVER, I still believe the essential meanings of the posts stand true.

Can't believe someone told me to grow up though haha. I promise you guys I will.

And please, if there is something you have against me, approach me in person and do not hide behind the veil of a screen, you know me, I ain't the violent type I will hear you out and do my best to be better. moving on

Speaking of growing up, my B'day is coming! yays! looking forward to it.

Come home, come home. All who are weary come home...

Allah Perduli

One Indonesian Worship song that really touched me

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Allah Perduli

Banyak perkara,

yang tak dapat 'ku mengerti

Mengapakah harus terjadi?

Di dalam, kehidupan ini

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Satu perkara,

yang kusimpan dalam hati

Tiada sesuatu 'kan terjadi

Tanpa Allah perduli

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Allah mengerti

Allah perduli

Segala persoalan yang kita hadapi

tak akan pernah, dibiarkannya

ku bergumul sendiri

s'bab Allah perduli

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Dibukanya jalan ku,

s'bab Allah perduli

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In case you're wondering what all that means, I made the translation

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GOD CARES

Many things that I

just can not understand

Why must all these things occur?

In this life of mine

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One thing that I

keep deep in my heart

Not a single thing will occur

Without God caring

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God understands

God cares

All the trials that we are

going through

Never will you be

forsaken by Him

my thoughts wrestle within me

That God would care

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He has open made straight my paths

for GOD CARES